


Every Reason Not To

by Afonso



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Endgame Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Established Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, I am Supercorp Trash, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, POV Kara Danvers, Song: Rewrite the Stars, Useless Bisexual Kara Danvers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 13:52:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19252510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Afonso/pseuds/Afonso
Summary: **SPOILERS ALERT! Pls hold off on reading this if you haven’t watched eps 19-22 of season 4.***This fic is based on the events in S4E19, when Lena tells Kara she had been helping Lex. On that day, Kara has an epiphany and needs some comfortin' and big-sis advice from Alex. A week later, the gang purposely leave Kara and Lena alone for movie night. Halfway throughout the movie, the onscreen events prompt Kara to reflect on said epiphany and things get messy (but don't worry, I promised you a happy ending).- AU where Lex didn’t tell Lena that Kara is Supergirl, and (minor detail) Red Daughter trashed her apartment before the last episode- Some angst





	1. Chapter 1

**SPOILERS ALERT! Pls hold off on reading this if you haven’t watched eps 19-22 of season 4.***

 

 

 

 

Kara looks up from frowning at her article on the Alien Amnesty act. She glances at her watch, curses, and jumps up from her seat. It’s 7.30pm - she’s going to be late for movie night. This time, the Super Friends aren’t having movie night at her place as usual but at Stories - the biggest cinema in National City owned by none other than her best friend. Lena had offered up the most luxurious theatre at Stories for tonight when she heard that Kara’s apartment was trashed by Red Daughter.

She looks around the office, tempted to fly to the cinema to get there almost instantly, so that she would not be late. To her disappointment, many of her colleagues are still around - no way she can get to the balcony and launch off into the crisp night without being seen.

Oh well, she would just have to run then. In the elevator, she looks at herself in the mirrored doors. She smooths down some flyaway strands of her blonde hair and catches a silly grin forming on her face when she remembers why she put on the black-and-white chequered shirt today - the one that Lena had once complimented. Two red patches radiate from her ears to her cheeks and neck when she remembers this. Oh, she is completely useless. But she can’t help herself. She thinks back to the previous week when she had had an epiphany.

***

After Lena had confessed to her that she had been helping Lex, Kara had held her tight, told her that no one could judge her for helping her dying brother, that she had a beautiful soul. She could have gone on to passionately pay her every compliment that had ever crossed her mind - anything, anything to wipe those tears off her face and make her smile again. While Lena was in her arms, sobbing like a child who had lost everything again, Kara’s heart broke into little pieces. Later on, when they had stayed up late to figure out Lex’s plan, the superhero realised that all she wanted to do when Lena broke the Kasnia code was to kiss this genius of a gorgeous woman. She also felt extremely guilty that Lena had so bravely confessed to Kara this secret which she had thought Kara would despise her for...and yet Kara was still keeping her in the dark about her nightly activities.

That night, Kara insisted on walking Lena home, asking her a million times if she was okay along the way. When Kara got home, she immediately went online and ordered Lena’s favourite flowers - enough to fill her sizeable office. Lena deserved to start every day with a smile. Then, she had called Alex, barely holding back her tears, and asked her sister to meet in her apartment that very night.

That night, she had paced and paced and paced when Alex finally arrived, almost driving even Alex crazy. And no one was more patient than Alex when it came to Kara’s meltdowns. “What is it, Kara? I can see that you’re very upset but I can’t help you if you keep pacing like this instead of telling me anything. All you’re giving me to work with are half-finished sentences! I’m your sister but even I can’t make heads or tails of what you’re trying to say right now.” Alex threw up her hands, exasperated.

“It’s Lena,” Kara finally choked out.

“Is she okay?” Alex asked, fear in her eyes. Kara knew that she had come to care for this Luthor a lot in the past few months, just because Kara trusted Lena unquestionably, and the Kryptonian felt her heart grow warm.

“Yes...I mean, no, she’s just been betrayed by her brother and assistant. She’s in a really bad place emotionally. And I still haven’t told her my secret even though I really, really wanted to,” Kara sighed and stopped her pacing at last, sitting down heavily on the couch next to her sister.

“Why didn’t you?” Alex asked gently, her patience returning.

“She told me that everyone had betrayed her and the only thing...the only thing that’s kept her going is my friendship,” Kara blubbered, her head drooped down so low that she was almost mumbling to herself. It was a wonder that Alex could still understand her.

“How could I possibly tell her after that? Tell her that I’ve been lying to her every day, no different from Eve, except that I would always, always be on her side? How would she ever believe me again? How could I tell her that the last person she trusts on this planet also lied to her _every single day_? Even if it is to protect her. She’s in such a vulnerable place now, she’d just think that I didn’t tell her because I don’t trust her. Because she’s a Luthor and I’m a Super, because I don’t trust that she can protect herself...even though none of these reasons are true.” Alex held Kara so tightly that the Kryptonian could almost feel her strength, just like she did when Kara had nightmares as a child. Alex rubbed soothing circles on Kara's back as the younger sister broke down.

“I know that with each day that passes, the odds that we can remain friends after I tell her become lower...yet I can’t bring myself to tell her. It would break her. I wish I were braver.”

“Are you kidding? You’re literally the bravest girl on the whole planet.” Alex said, cupping her sister’s cheek affectionately.

“I'd rather face 10 WorldKillers than tell Lena I'm Supergirl,” Kara sniffled. “And you know what’s the worst thing?”

“What?” Alex asked cautiously, her red brows jumping back together into their knitted position.

“I’m...I think...erm…” Kara stammered.

“Kara, Kara, look at me,” Alex released Kara from her hug to hold her tearful sister at arms’ length. The older Danvers sister wiped away a tear on Kara’s face with her thumb and stroked her cheek. “Just take a breath, and tell me. You can tell me anything,” she said soothingly.

Kara obeyed, taking a deep breath. “I’m in love with Lena.”

Alex dropped her hands. “Oh.” Kara read it as a shocked reaction until Alex covered her mouth with her hands and began shaking with uncontrollable giggles.

“Alexxxx!!!!!!! Why are you laughing!!! I’m miserable.”

“B-because…” Alex was laughing so hard by now that she had to take big gulps of breath to finish her sentence. “Because I had a bet with Maggie and NOW I WIN.” Kara smacked her sister on her shoulder, stopping Alex’s evil villain laugh which she knew was coming.

“I knew it!!! I knew you were in love with her, but you seemed to not realise it and I wanted you to come to the conclusion in your own time,” Alex’s shoulders were still shaking with mirth.

“I’m not even going to ask about the specifics of this bet,” Kara said irritably. But the ends of her mouth twitched. She forced herself not to smile. This was NOT okay. She wanted Alex to feel guilty about making bets at her expense.

“So are you going to give me some big-sister advice or not?” Kara said, folding her arms.

Alex recognised that she was approaching dangerous territory and hurriedly arranged her face into a serious expression. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Alex hugged her tight and rubbed her shoulders soothingly.

“The way I see it,” Alex began, successfully maintaining a solemn look on her face, “You should give yourself a time limit to tell her. I agree that this isn’t the best time, but it’s already been two years, and there’s never going to be a right time.”

“Time limit? Like, what, a week?” Kara asked, already regretting not giving herself a month (or better yet, a year) instead as Alex nodded.

“A week sounds about right. Enough time for Lena to recover a little, yet not enough time for you to fully convince yourself that you don’t need to tell her after all. And hopefully not enough time for yet another person to betray her and restart this process,” Alex said.

“Don’t you think a week is too short? Lena’s had a really tough week,” Kara questioned, thinking about how her best friend had fallen to pieces in her arms anyway even though she was in CatCo, in plain sight of any employee, when she had worked so hard with her power suits and high heels to maintain a tough image.

“She’s made of strong stuff, our Lena,” Alex said firmly. “Besides, if you wait longer, I have a feeling I’ll find myself here with you having the same conversation a year from now.” Kara knew that that was a distinct possibility, and could not think of any counter-argument.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The flashback ends, and Kara is on the way to Lena's cinema for movie night. Lena has a few little sweet surprises in store for Kara in the theatre...some fluff before the next chapter's angst!

The “ding” of the elevator bell shakes Kara out of her flashback, and she remembers that she is rushing towards the cinema...and Lena. While speed-walking, she takes out her phone to text the Super Friends and tell them she would be late. She has 5 unread messages.

**Lena** : I’ll be late sorry! Mtg ran long.

**James:** Sorry guys, can’t make it tonight. Lucy’s in National City for a conference and we need to talk. Wish me luck.

**Winn:** Good luck James! I can’t make it either. Alex is being a slave-driver

**Alex:** Hey! It’s not my fault that the servers at the DEO suddenly went dark.

**J’on** : Someone is sniffing around the sacred symbols I buried. I have to investigate. See you all next week

**Kara** : You guys suck. 

 

Kara calls Lena, nervous even though she has dialled her best friend’s number a million times. 

“Hey Kara,” Kara can hear the stress and fatigue in her voice.

“Hey, Lena,” Kara keeps her voice light. “Dunno if you saw the group chat, but the rest can’t make it anymore. You wanna postpone?”

Lena sighs. “Oh, dear.” A beat, as she considers. “No, let’s go ahead. I need movie night after a week like this. And I know that Jess went to quite a bit of trouble to set this up for us at Stories.”

“Are you sure? You sound stressed and tired,” Kara says.  _ Please don’t postpone, please don’t postpone... _ She feels a blush creeping up her face and neck again as she recognises how useless she is being. Lena needs her rest but Kara needs to see her. The blonde misses her even though it has only been a day since their last lunch “date”.

“Yes,” Lena says, the smile returning to her voice, “I’m sure, Kara. Thanks for thinking of me as always,” Kara melts a little at the affection in Lena’s tone. “My driver says we’re reaching in two minutes. See you there,”

“Great! I’m reaching soon too. See you!” Kara says brightly. She fans her face, willing the blush to go away before she arrives at the cinema and Lena notices.

She stands outside the theatre, nervousness crippling her from taking another step. She takes a few deep breaths.  _ Don’t be silly. It’s just Lena, your best friend for the past two years. And besides, if you don’t enter soon, she’s going to come out and find you standing here, paralysed. _

She goes in.

The lights are on, and she counts only twenty seats in the cavernous theatre which can easily seat a hundred. Each seat looks like a self-contained mini cabin, like the Business Class ones that she had walked past on the way to the Economy Class section the last time she had taken a plane. 

There are a few seats which are clustered in pairs, and she sees a familiar raven-black ponytail sticking out from the back of one such loveseat. Kara feels her face grow red again and she begins wishing that she can somehow freeze-breath the blush away. Lena must have sat down absent-mindedly while reading a work email or text, not noticing that it was a couple seat.

Her stomach churning with equal parts excitement and anxiety at being so close to Lena, she hurries towards the seat and sits down.

Lena immediately puts down the phone she had been frowning at and gives Kara a big smile that torches Kara’s heart. Kara beams back at her - she fears that her uber-keen smile would somehow betray her love but she is unable to reel it in. Especially when she sees that Lena is wearing that gorgeous purple three-piece suit that makes her look absolutely...hot. The suit had earned Lena multiple appreciative glances from Kara the last time the CEO had worn it - looks which Kara hoped the other woman had not noticed. Kara swallows hard, taking in every detail of Lena in the suit.  _ Keep your shit together, Kara Zor-El! _

“Shall we start?” Lena asked, still smiling.

“Uh...sure,” Kara replied, composing herself. “What are we watching today?”

“It’s a surprise,” Lena says with a wink and her trademark Luthor faux-diabolical smirk. “I’m so glad you guys let me choose the movie this time round - I think you’re gonna love it,” Lena looks so gleeful that Kara imagines this must have been what Little Lena had looked like in one of her rare happy moments as a child. The image in her mind is incredibly adorable.  _ Stop it _ , she scolds herself.

“I can’t wait,” Kara says, still beaming.  _ She didn’t pick the movie just for you _ , she reminds herself. But her heart ignores her brain, and sings.

Lena presses a button on her phone and the cinema darkens. To Kara’s surprise, Lena’s hand finds hers, covers it, gives it a squeeze. To the blonde’s disappointment, Lena pulls her hand away as the opening credits play.

Kara’s hand flies up to her mouth. It is The Greatest Showman, which is not even out for another two days! No wonder Jess had difficulty setting this up. She had once squealed excitedly to Lena when she saw an article in CatCo magazine that the movie was coming out soon, and it sounded like it was going to be an epic musical. Of course it would be, it had Hugh Jackman  _ and  _ Zac Efron in it! 

_ Subtlety be damned,  _ Kara thinks, suddenly feeling brave. She finds Lena’s hand in the darkness and gives it a squeeze. The Kryptonian leans over and whispers in Lena’s ear, “Thank you.” Kara is not entirely sure why she is whispering when it is just the two of them, but it seems appropriate.

“I remember you saying that you wanted to watch this,” Lena whispers back, undisguised glee in her voice. She grabs Kara’s hand and waves it around in excitement.

Kara is glad that Lena has no super-hearing because the reporter’s heartbeat is now, she reckons, at least as loud as the surround-sound speakers.

“Oh, before I forget…” Lena presses a button on the touchpad in her armrest. A few seconds later, a waiter appears with a gigantic bucket of popcorn. It smells absolutely incredible, all caramelly and buttery, and Kara’s mouth immediately starts to water.

“You didn’t think I’d forget the popcorn, did you?” Lena teases.

“You’re the BEST!” Kara immediately stuffs a handful of popcorn into her mouth. It tastes like heaven.

She swallows quickly and asks at a normal volume, whispers all but forgotten, “OMG WHAT’S IN THIS! It tastes AMAZING!”

“Well, Kara,” Lena drawls, “it’s seasalt caramel popcorn with freshly-churned butter and macadamia nuts that were harvested just this morning in Hawaii.” Her Irish accent creeps in towards the end of the sentence and Kara feels her own breath catch. Lena pinches Kara’s chin with her thumb and forefinger. “Enjoy,” she smirks again at Kara’s mindblown expression.

Once Lena turns her face away from Kara and towards the screen, Kara takes the opportunity to study the profile of her best friend. The ponytail hitched high on her head, showing off her aristocratic neck and beautiful jawline. Those playful eyebrows, her deep dimples, the high cheekbones, that straight, perfect nose, her full, pillowy lips. Then Hugh Jackman starts singing, and the opening scene is so vibrant, so colourful that she becomes distracted. She wants to stare at Lena whenever she can, use this golden opportunity where they are in the dark and alone, but the story is too absorbing and the songs too catchy and soon, she gets sucked in and forgets to steal glances at her incredible best friend.

Kara is already misty-eyed at the beginning of the movie, touched by the love story between a pauper and a rich man’s daughter. She is particularly moved by the  couple’s determination to be together, awed by the dreams that Hugh Jackman’s character had, and how his onscreen wife supported him through it all. This is why she loves musicals - decades of a lifetime could be condensed into marvellous minutes, through soulful song, clever editing and expert choreography.  

She feels something move underneath her hand, and is shocked to discover that while watching the courtship scene onscreen, she had subconsciously moved her hand to cover Lena’s, and the brunette is now turning her palm upward to meet hers. “I’m a little cold, I hope you don’t mind,” Lena whispers apologetically, then bites her lip. Kara was never able to reject lip-biting Lena from the first time the billionaire did it to her, even though the reporter had not yet realised how important the human would become to the alien. Besides, Lena’s hand was cold, and Kara thanked Rao for her Kryptonian physiology, which effectively made her a furnace. Blocking out thoughts of what Lena might make of this action, Kara sandwiches Lena’s hand in both of her own and rubs gently to warm it up. Lena smiles back at her gratefully.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rewrite the Stars scene plays and reduces Kara to a flood of tears as it prompts her to think about her heart's desire and the implications of telling Lena that she is Supergirl.
> 
> P.S. Sorry if the angst part runs a bit long - I promise that things get better in the next chapter!

Kara’s heart is on a roller-coaster for the next hour, influenced by both onscreen and offscreen events as the story climbs towards its climax and Lena removes her hand, thanking Kara again.

The trough of the roller-coaster comes when the story shifts to focus on the mixed-racial couple played by Zac Efron and Zendaya. Kara already felt the sniffles coming in an earlier scene when his rich parents forbade their son to date a black girl. Now, as they sing about the fate of their love while Zendaya performs heartbreakingly perfect stunts on the trapeze, Kara thinks about the problems that have been plaguing her mind for the past week. Her efforts to hold the floodgates go down the drain when she feels hot tears begin sliding down her cheeks, one after another until they form a constant stream. The more she tries to stop, the hotter and faster the tears come, until she can no longer stifle her sobs. The girl of steel sits, powerless to the sounds she is making, praying to Rao that Lena would just assume that she is only crying because of the movie. Kara wants so, so, badly to tell Lena how she feels, and to tell her she is Supergirl, let there be no more boundaries, no more secrets between them. But there is too much at stake. Since Lex knew Kara is Supergirl, there is no knowing how many people he had told and Kara’s cover could be blown at any time. Alex would already be in danger if that happens - the thought causes Kara’s heart to squeeze painfully - how could she also paint a target on Lena’s back? She might not be fast enough to protect both Alex and Lena if someone were to capture them both. Lena already has enough enemies as it is - how could Kara give her more?

Not to mention that in all likelihood, when Lena finds out about her secret identity, she would very likely call off their friendship and hate her for becoming the latest betrayer in her life. Even if they were in a fantasy world where Lena reciprocated her feelings, the CEO has a reputation to uphold as a Luthor and as a public figure - why would her, Kara, want to put her best friend through the media firestorm that is sure to ensue? In fact, why would Lena want to go through it just to be with her? Kara could not think of a single reason why she would be worth it. Lena could literally have anyone she wanted, with her looks and her brains and her power and her kindness. Kara knew how juicy a possible Danvers-Luthor romance would be. Even though it is not as scandalous as Supergirl dating a Luthor, but the Kara-Mon El and Lena-James relationships had been widely reported in the press - even CatCo Magazine. She doesn’t care about her reputation - but how could she blight Lena’s? It would definitely affect L-Corp, especially hot on the heels of the devastation Lex had caused. L-Corp was Lena’s life work - Kara should not endanger its success in any way. And, coming back to the danger point, she would be adding LGBT-haters to the list of people who wanted to bring Lena down. In these times when the people are still in fear, and the peace so fragile, anyone can be a target. No, Kara couldn’t tell Lena these two truths. No, it is too difficult. No, there is too much at stake. No, asking Lena to be with her would be downright selfish. No, she can’t do this. She has to get up and leave, right now. She cannot handle being next to Lena right now.

“Kara? Kara!” A pair of green eyes are searching her face, wide and concerned. Kara realises that Lena’s arms are around her too, ensconcing her. She can feel her sobs slowing just from the effect of Lena’s tight embrace. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” “Pause.” Lena says authoritatively, and the movie freezes on screen.

Kara opens and closes her mouth a few times, but no sound comes out. Kara cannot find the English words to say - her brain is overwhelmed with a torrent of Kryptonian words expressing her feelings. But somehow she cannot translate them into English at this moment. It is like her brain has suddenly regressed to the time when she first arrived on Earth and did not know a single word of English. “Kuhlongian Oro," Kara word-vomits the phrase that is repeating in her mind, not realising that she just said her Kryptonian thoughts out loud. "What?" Lena asks, utterly confused.

"I...I have to go.” The sobbing had depleted even the superhero of all strength, but Kara summons the energy to walk away quickly, and wills herself not to look back. She does not trust herself to continue walking away instead of hugging Lena and never letting go if she sees Lena’s furrowed brows and downturned lips.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in Lena’s POV. The genius puts her pretty head to figuring out what's happened to Kara and the cryptic clue the blonde left her before rushing out of the cinema in tears.

“Alex? I’m so sorry to bother you, but I think something’s up with Kara. She just broke down in the middle of the movie and she just walked out and asked me not to follow her. No...I mean, I can’t be a hundred percent sure but I’ve watched puppy movies with her and this was higher than her movie-level of crying. She looked really...heartbroken, for some reason. Yes, please let me know if she’s okay. Thank you.” Lena knits her brows together, wondering what had happened to her best friend. 

And she had said something really strange, which Lena is pretty sure was in another language. Except for her participation in a Russian exchange programme back in college, Lena does not know of any foreign languages that Kara is fluent in. And since Lena knows conversational Russian, she is sure what Kara had said wasn’t in Russian. 

She texts Alex.

**Hey Alex, please text me when you find Kara. BTW, does she know any foreign languages aside from Russian? She said something in another language before she left.**

She summons her driver to take her home, home to a bottle of merlot to make her feel centred again, help to convince herself that it is not because of her that Kara was so upset, and most importantly, to numb the anxiety of the waiting that would now ensue. Waiting to hear from Alex that she has found Kara and she is okay...for (dare she hope?) Kara to be back to her normal self, to greet her with her sunshine-bright smile and to find herself in one of Kara’s bone crushing hugs which Lena looks forward to every time they meet.

After her fourth glass of merlot, she admits to herself that the alcohol is not working. Her skin is crawling with nervous energy and she has to get up and do something. She briefly considers taking to Kara’s usual haunts herself to look for her, but the reporter held so much hurt in her eyes when she asked her not to follow that Lena immediately trashes the idea. There is that one clue. Those two foreign words she had whispered before Kara had left so suddenly. Alex hasn’t replied her message yet - she is probably busy comforting Kara.

Time to put her Luthor resources to use.

30 minutes later, she opens the email that comes in, the one that she hopes will hold the answer to Kara’s baffling behaviour today, and says, “Oh.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly Alex's POV in this chapter. Alex comforts Kara like only she can. Someone give her the Best Sister award already.

Alex finds her sister at home, hugging a family-sized tub of mint chocolate ice-cream. The older Danvers sister pries the empty tub away from Kara’s shaking hands, tries to stem the constant stream of tears that flow from her sister’s eyes, and embraces her without saying a single word, until Kara stops gulping air like she is drowning, and her breathing slows.

Alex kisses Kara’s damp cheek and dries her face as best as she can. Some of the tears have already dried on Kara’s face, the tracts shiny in the moonlight. Alex’s heart writhes in pain. It is the second time this week that she has found Kara in a state, and this time is even worse than the last.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Alex asks, her voice soft as a feather, its very timbre a balm to Kara’s pain - the only one that works at moments like this.

Kara clings to her sister, and buries her face in Alex’s chest like she did when she was a child, the first time she had a nightmare about Krypton’s death - the first, unfortunately, of many.

“I realised that I can never tell her how I feel. And I can never tell her that I’m Supergirl. And then I realised that I might as well cut off contact with her now because she is going to find out. Lex would have told someone that I am Supergirl. He would want to torture Lena with this information. So it will come out eventually. And then she’ll hate me. So it’ll never work between us, even as friends, not to mention...something more.” Kara cannot bring herself to say “lovers”. Alex is shocked at how dead Kara’s voice sounds, how dejected, how hopeless. The light has gone out of the girl who inspires hope in the world. Alex has no counter-argument. As pessimistic as Kara sounds, her Lex theory is perfectly likely.

“I’ll make up some reason to cut off ties with her. It’s for the best. The more we stay together, the more it’ll hurt her when she finds out. And the longer I put off separating myself from her because of my weakness and selfishness, the more danger she'll be in when word gets out that I’m Supergirl and she is Supergirl’s best friend.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where was this MENSA-level strategic thinking when we needed to catch Lex?” Alex keeps her tone light and gives a small smile, trying to arouse one in Kara. No such luck.

“I’m serious, Alex.” Kara’s tone was still flat.

“Well, all the more you should tell her now before you cut ties with her.”

“Have you been listening to me at _all_?????”

“No, _you_ listen. Since you’ve already decided to cut ties with her, you have nothing to lose by telling her before you do that. Since the end result, according to you, is bound to be that you two will no longer be friends.”

Kara cannot think of any counter to Alex’s logic. “I’m scared.” She is more scared than she had been when trapped in her pod for years in the phantom zone.

“I know,” Alex says simply, and holds her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Kara's POV. Kara takes action, and is surprised by the outcome.

It takes Kara three days to summon the courage to see Lena and drive the nail into the coffin of their friendship. Lena does not contact her during this time, and Kara loses count of the times she picks up her phone after hearing phantom vibrations to find zero new messages. She also sets a record for the number of times she checks her own voicemail.

Supergirl lands softly on L-Corp’s balcony at 10pm, a time when she knows for sure that Lena would still be working. She knows, because usually Kara would visit at this time to pry the Luthor away from her work and cajole her into eating something and getting some sleep. She wonders whether anyone has done that for Lena in her absence for the past three days.

Sure enough, she sees the CEO buried in paperwork at her desk. Kara just stands and looks at her best friend for a moment, trying to memorise the details of Lena’s face illuminated in the moonlight, wanting to delay the inevitable. The brunette seems bonier, and her lips are pulled down even more than usual. The dark smudges below her eyes peek out from underneath her power make-up. Kara’s lips start to tremble, but she quickly composes herself. She would get this over and done with, and then she can fly home into Alex’s waiting arms.

The superhero taps softly on the glass, not wanting to startle Lena, mindful of the multiple attempts on her life over the past week.

Kara catches a glimpse of what looks like hope flicker over Lena’s face when she comes to open the door for Supergirl, but it can’t be hope, and anyway it is quickly replaced by the CEO’s game face. Kara recognises this tough-as-nails expression as the one Lena normally wears for the other journalists at the difficult press conferences following her mother’s trial.

“What brings you here, Supergirl?” Lena asks, and her tone is almost a challenge. Kara is puzzled - Lena had been friendly with Supergirl of late, so why the aggressive tone? Perhaps Lena had had a bad day.

“I have...something to tell you.”

Lena raises a perfectly plucked eyebrow.

Kara’s words tumble out in a rush. She is eager to get them out before she loses her nerve. “You’ve asked - multiple times - to know my real identity. I am sorry I haven’t shared it until now. I had many reasons not to, but please believe me when I say that none of them have anything to do with trust and they all concern your safety. I am…”

“Kara Danvers,” Lena says, all-too-calmly.

Alarm bells ring in Kara’s head, and she hopes her super-hearing is not picking up any real alarm bells in the distance because this would be a really bad time to interrupt this conversation.

“I had been suspicious for quite some time. But I really didn’t want to believe that my best friend...” Lena’s lip trembles, but she bites it, clamps down on her emotions, and continues. “...would lie to me every day.” Her eyes are red, and the sight of it tears at Kara’s heart.

Kara’s head hangs. She has no defense for herself. “Right...I understand. You want nothing more to do with me. I’ll just...leave...then.” She looks up at Lena one last time, her eyes already brimming with tears. Lena’s face is also wet, and Kara cannot bear to see the hurt she has caused on the face of the one who has captivated her heart so thoroughly. She steps away, and coils her legs to launch into the chilly night.

But her cape is snagged on something. She looks for the source, and finds that it is Lena’s long, thin fingers, grasping the cloth tightly.

“Kuhlongian Oros,” Lena says. “That’s what you said when you left, right? That day at the cinema?” Kara’s eyes grow wide, gobsmacked by Lena’s flawless pronunciation of the Kryptonian phrase that she didn’t realise she had said out loud in her distress

“You look like you’re about to use your heat vision on me,” Lena says, and Kara’s heart lifts a little as she sees the ghost of a smile dancing on the corners of Lena’s mouth.

“I would never,” Kara replies, with heart.

“Kuhlongian Oros,” Lena continues. I found out what it means.” The CEO looks deadly serious.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena reveals that she found out what the two non-English words Kara said means, which is a revelation but (hopefully) not what you thought it was, the two are useless, and happiness ensues.

Kara’s mind is reeling. How?! She takes a breath. _“How” doesn’t matter anymore. You really have nothing to lose now_.

“It’s a Kryptonian idiom,” Lena continues matter-of-factly, as though giving a lecture on alien linguistics. But Kara can hear Lena’s heart beating faster and faster, and the telltale tremble in her voice. “And it means, ‘I am not supposed to love you.' Am I right?’”

By now, Kara has floated back down onto the balcony and is standing in front of Lena. Kara’s heartbeat is now as fast as Lena’s, and getting quicker by the second. She looks at Lena in wonder, tears already falling in anticipation of rejection.

“You’re wrong.” Lena says quietly.

“W-what do you mean?” Kara dares herself to ask.

“I...that is to say…” Frustration takes over Lena’s beautiful features, and she shuts her mouth. She takes one step towards Kara, closing the gap between them, dangerously close now. It is all Kara can do to keep her hands by her side instead of putting them around the woman in front of her and never letting go. Kara closes her eyes, because she cannot bear being so close to Lena when she can’t, shouldn’t, touch her, because all she can think about is the one thing she wants to do right now. The superhero waits for Lena to tell her they can't be friends anymore.

Instead, Kara feels soft lips on hers, exploring, questioning. Telling. Kara kisses back fervently, hungrily, trying to convey her love and trust all in one kiss.

It seems she has succeeded, because when Lena comes up for air, she looks at Kara with smouldering eyes, eyes brimming with love and trust and the answer she has craved ever since she realised she had stepped right into a cliche and fallen for her best friend.

Holding Kara in her arms, Lena starts to explain. “I was really upset at first when I sent out the phrase to all the top linguists and found out that it was in Kryptonian. Like I said, I’d always suspected you were Supergirl, but this was the final piece of hard evidence which I could not ignore, did not want to ignore anymore. But at the same time, I was unbelievably happy that my feelings are returned.” _Returned?_ Kara’s hand flies to her mouth, and the tears begin flowing anew, but for a different reason this time.

“I spent the past three days licking my wounds, and I won’t lie, I did feel very betrayed.” Kara bites her lip, and starts to apologise but Lena puts up her hand, cutting her off. “Let me finish. But I remembered everything you’ve done for me, Kara. All the times you defended me even back when you hardly even knew me, stood up for me, held me _together_ when I was falling apart. All the evidence points to the fact that you trust me unconditionally. I know you, Kara, and I know how you think. And when I shut off my feelings and focused on the facts of this whole situation, I knew that you only did it to protect me. And I couldn’t bring myself to hate you. But I still needed some time to process the hurt.” Lena looks down at her hands.

“I understand completely,” Kara said, hugging Lena tighter. “I’m so sorry.”

Lena strokes Kara’s face. “Don’t be. I know that everything you do is to keep your loved ones safe.”

“After I got over the hurt, I started to wonder why you would think that you couldn’t love me.” Lena looks up at Kara, her eyes fearful, and Kara knows what she is thinking.

“It’s not because you’re a Luthor, Lena. It’s because I can’t put you in danger. I’m convinced that Lex would have arranged to reveal my identity to you to hurt you, and if we get together and Supergirl’s enemies find out, they’ll come after you first. I can’t...I can’t risk losing you,” Kara grips Lena hard, her eyes welling up again.

Lena starts to speak, but now it is Supergirl’s turn to stop her. “Let me finish. And secondly, you shouldn’t have to face the disapproval of your mother and your board of directors and the public...because of our type of relationship. This is surely going to cause a media firestorm. I can’t let you put your reputation and L-Corp’s at risk because of me. It’s...not worth it,” Kara looks down, hating that she sounds so convincing but at the same time knowing Lena, precious, precious Lena, deserves more than this. More than the life she can offer. “I can’t let-”

“You _are_ absolutely, unquestionably worth it, and I don’t care about all those 'consequences' you speak of.” Lena cuts her off, folding her arms, that defiant expression on her face that Kara has seen time and again when she is staring in the face of death. She has also seen this expression when her mother, or the board of directors is trying to tell her that something can’t be done. And Lena always, always gets her way when she has this look. Kara knows this face, and it means she’s made up her mind and she will get her way no matter what happens.

“I’m always going to be in danger - I’m a Luthor. And now that I know you’re Supergirl, I will strengthen my security team even further to anticipate alien attacks,” Lena is using her authoritative voice, and Kara is powerless because A) she is making a lot of sense and B) Lena is really hot when she uses her authoritative voice and C) she has never wanted anything more than she wants to be with Lena!!!!!!!

Kara opens her mouth again to argue half-heartedly, but Lena places a finger over her lips. “If L-Corp falls, so be it - I’ll just build it up again - it may be my life’s work but it’s just a company, it’s not the woman I have been dreaming of - the best person there is and the purest heart I could ever wish to hold.” Lena looks at Kara, eyes smouldering again, and Kara sees pure, unadulterated love, and she understands finally that all this time, Lena has felt the same way as Kara did.

Kara sighs, and for the first time in a long while, the weight on her shoulders seems lighter somehow.

“I hope you don’t regret this,” she says, even as she plants multiple kisses on Lena’s lips.

Lena hugs her tighter. “No, I won’t.” She looks deep into Kara’s eyes, and finally, finally, Kara feels a part of her heart that has always been misaligned slot into place with a click. From this moment, Kara knows that she would do anything to keep Lena smiling like that.

“Wanna go to my place so that we can catch up?” Kara asks, her trademark Sunny Danvers grin lighting up her whole face. “Can talking not be the only activity?” Lena counters, with a raised eyebrow and a cheeky smirk.

“Hey, I’m a gentleman,” Kara replies and scoops Lena into a bridal carry. “See?” Kara is grinning so hard, her face hurts, and her heart is doing triple somersaults in her chest because she is finally carrying Lena in the way that she has been fantasising about.

“Screw that. I’ve waited _so long_ ,” Lena moans seductively and Kara does not know how long she can stay “gentlemanly”.

While flying herself and Lena to the superhero’s apartment, Kara calls Alex and squeals into the phone, “Alex, you won’t believe what just happened!”

“Hey, Alex,” Lena pipes up, grateful for a distraction on just how high up they are right now.

“Okay, I’m getting out of your house _right now_.” Alex hangs up immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Did you like it? Especially the part about the Kryptonian phrase? Let me know in the comments - good or bad!


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